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The Birds by ~kazumisangel:iconkazumisangel:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Nature > Fixed


Grief could not cloud the sky today
For the sun was shining way too bright
Decaying life would be burned away
To make room for birds to take flight

Lovely wings soaring through skies
Leaving all of their troubles behind
Forgotten fears, no more lies
Let the tangled web of torment unwind

Trailing feathers sweep the ground
They swoop and soar away from their cages
Diving off towards the new life they've found
One that will bring them joy for ages

Grief could not cloud the sky today
For nothing can bring down these old birds
They always fly on, not daring to stay
Never again to be tied here by your words
©2009 ~kazumisangel
:iconkazumisangel:

Author's Comments

Written for =CartheInsane's 14th Challenge, this is the poetry challenge, found here: [link]

Hopefully it sounds as optimistic as I'd intended it to be, I felt that talking about grief and decay in the traditional way was too melancholy.

Comments


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:iconarya-nom:
~Arya-nom Jun 22, 2009, 6:52:22 AM
You are not to update your DA when we (~yummyaoicupcake and I) are at camp and are unable to respond. I may get scolded-ed-ed for being on here, sillyface!

Anyway, AMAZING poem, as always, I love it. :heart:

..I wish I had your rhyme-y prose-y skills. D:
:iconcartheinsane:
=CartheInsane Jun 22, 2009, 3:23:17 PM
Gorgeous. :)

--
~I am a poet~
:icontsirachel:
~Tsirachel Jun 22, 2009, 5:44:06 PM
Awesome! It's always neat to see another interpretation of the same instructions. :D I love how you've turned the tone around and made it sound so hopeful. I love the birds as the focus. They can symbolize so many things.
:iconplatinummyr:
=platinummyr Jun 22, 2009, 8:06:57 PM
:heart: Lovely rhyming :)

--
*TheWritersMeow
A birthday is just a day, you say.
But it's a special day.
It's the day you first changed the world.
:iconnkvgbd:
=NKVGBD Jun 23, 2009, 3:06:18 AM
beautifully written,love the last verse :)

--
" It is better to be hated for what you are
than to be loved for what you are not..."
:iconexillior:
=Exillior Jun 23, 2009, 8:59:00 AM
I love the freedom and hope that this conveys!

--
"Anger is an ugly thing, because it makes even the best people no better than the worst."
:iconfotus9:
=Fotus9 Jun 24, 2009, 2:14:58 AM
Your writing is as good as it used to be before you spent ages away. :laughing:

But I really like, in your last poems, the ending. This one, for instance. Maybe "epic" isn't the correct word to describe the ending, but I think it's the best. Because the poem is soft, like a perfect jukebox is just letting the perfect words come out, they just mix together and sound good,like legatto in music. You know that, right? :)

But then the ending just sticks out, so even if I was not sure that was the ending, I would know. The poem ended, and... bang, that's it. :dummy:

--
This is a link to my page.
It's not "the best way to make pageviews" or "the hottest chick alive". Still, I'd appreciate it if you clicked it. :la:

:lol::poke::hug:
:iconredsky-atnight:
~RedSky-atNight Jun 27, 2009, 5:50:06 PM
Really lovely :heart:, and as mentioned by others, the last verse is wonderful.

--
"'Unmask!'
(-the Red Death held sway over all)"
:iconeverybody-loves-l:
~everybody-loves-L Jun 29, 2009, 9:29:38 AM
yay! lovely as always. SAVE THE SEA KOALAS!

--
~
"True strength is keeping it together when everyone expects you to fall apart."
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